A small ceremony for the two of them now, a bigger party for everyone else later. Here’s how my little sister did it — and why it’s one of my favorite weddings I’ve ever photographed.
I’ve been a wedding photographer in Chicago for a while now, and I’ve shot weddings of every shape and size — 200-guest receptions, intimate backyard ceremonies, weekend-long destination weddings in places I’d never been before. But the one I want to tell you about today is the smallest one I’ve ever photographed.
It’s also the one I officiated.
Because the bride was my little sister.
The Setup
My sister Kait and her now-husband Jake decided early on that they wanted two things: a small, private ceremony to actually get married, and a bigger celebration later for all the people in their lives. A lot of couples I talk to are quietly considering this exact setup but feel like it’s somehow “not allowed.” So I want to walk through how it actually went, because it might be exactly what some of you are looking for and don’t know it yet.
The cast: Kait (my little sister), Jake (her person), Sydney (Jake’s older sister, also a photographer, also basically my bonus sister at this point), and me, officiant for the day.
We picked a Sunday in October. Mostly because it worked for everyone’s schedules, and partly because Chicago in October is a gift when the weather cooperates. It did. Warm-ish, soft light, the kind of morning where everyone shows up in a good mood.
The Ceremony Itself
They picked Sydney up first, then swung by to grab me and we drove down to City Hall together. Sometime around 11am we were standing on the sidewalk outside the building.
The thing about getting married outside a closed City Hall on a Sunday is it’s so much better than the alternative. There’s no fluorescent-lit basement waiting room. No clipboard to sign in on. No strangers’ weddings happening on either side of yours. It’s just you, the people you brought, and the city around you.
Kait wore a white tuxedo dress with pumps. Jake threw on a traditional suit. There was no aisle to walk down, no music cued up, no first look choreographed. Just the four of us on a sidewalk.
I had written a short ceremony — semi-personal, a couple of “do you promise to” questions, nothing long. Sydney shot the ceremony itself so I could focus on actually marrying them. They exchanged rings. The whole thing took maybe four minutes.
And here’s the part I think about most: somewhere in the middle of it, Jake got teary. Until that exact moment I had never seen Jake get emotional about anything. I lost it immediately. Sydney was already a puddle. Kait was holding it together better than any of us.
Four minutes. That was the wedding.
Quick Note on Logistics for Couples Considering This
A few practical things that make Chicago and Illinois really good for this kind of micro-elopement, in case you’re already mentally planning yours:
Illinois doesn’t require witnesses. Just the couple and the officiant. That alone makes it possible to keep things genuinely small without scrambling to find a friend with a free Tuesday.
You can become an officiant online. I enrolled online, got certified, and was legally able to sign their marriage license. No one-day permit, no in-person registration. If someone in your life would mean more than a stranger from the courthouse, this is genuinely so easy.
You don’t have to be inside the building to get married. This is the one most couples don’t realize. Your ceremony can happen anywhere — a sidewalk, a park, your backyard, the lakefront. As long as you have your license and a certified officiant, the location is entirely up to you.
That last one matters. Standing outside on a Chicago sidewalk on a quiet Sunday morning made the day feel like theirs in a way that a generic civil ceremony room never would have.
The Art Institute
After the ceremony, we walked over to the Art Institute and spent maybe 45 minutes shooting portraits inside. Sydney and I both shot — sometimes the same moment from different angles, sometimes splitting up so we could grab different rooms.
The Art Institute is one of those Chicago spots that just works. Beautiful natural light in a lot of the galleries, dramatic architecture, and the kind of backdrop that makes portraits feel editorial without trying too hard. If you’re planning something similar, it’s worth knowing photography policies vary by gallery and by day, so check ahead, but for a small group moving through quietly, it’s a dream.
Brunch at Our Aunt’s
From there we drove to our aunt’s house — the same aunt whose home I got married at, which made the day feel like another chapter in a story our family has been writing for a while.
About fifteen people were there. Parents on both sides, grandparents, aunts and uncles, a few of Kait and Jake’s closest friends. The kind of guest list where everyone in the room actually knows each other and actually loves the couple.
The food situation was, in my opinion, perfect: mimosas, Filipino food, tea sandwiches, bagels and pastries. A spread that says “we’re not pretending this is a formal sit-down dinner, we’re celebrating our newly married people in a kitchen we love.”
There weren’t really speeches. It wasn’t that kind of event — it was more that the people who matter most to Kait and Jake had a long, slow morning together in a kitchen full of love.
The one moment that did happen, though, was Kait and Jake officially asking Sydney’s husband Jimmy if he’d officiate their vow renewal a year later. Jimmy laughed, jumped up, said yes — the whole room caught it. That was the speech.
A Year Later: The Big One
The following November, Kait and Jake had their bigger celebration at cd&me — a vow renewal and reception with around 200 guests.
Here’s the thing about that day: if you didn’t already know they were married, you would have walked into that wedding and had no idea anything had happened a year prior. It had a ceremony, vows, rings, a first dance, the whole thing. Jimmy stood up there as their officiant and they renewed the promises they’d made on a sidewalk in October.
What’s wild is how different the two events felt — and how both of them were the right thing for the moment they happened in. The Sunday morning ceremony was for them. The November celebration was for everyone else. Neither one was the “real” wedding and neither one was the “lesser” one. They were both the wedding. Just two parts of it.
Why I’m Telling You This
If you’re a Chicago couple right now reading this and quietly thinking, I would love to do something like that, but I don’t think we can, — you can.
You can have a tiny, beautiful, four-minute ceremony with the people who mean the most to you. You can have a long lazy brunch at someone’s house with mimosas and Filipino food and zero seating chart. You can have a 200-person reception a year later with a first dance and a real DJ. You can have one of those things, or both of those things, or some other combination of things I haven’t thought of.
There is no one way to get married. The “rules” you think exist mostly don’t.
Kait and Jake’s wedding day was small on purpose, and a year later their celebration was big on purpose, and both of those choices were exactly right for them.
If you’re planning something intimate in Chicago — or thinking about it, or just curious whether it’s possible — I would love to hear from you. The best part of doing this work is sitting down with couples and figuring out what their version actually looks like. No two have ever been the same.
Looking for more Chicago intimate wedding and elopement stories? You might also like Nikki & Kate and Meg & Mohammed.
Hiiiii, I’m the imaginative force behind Cooper’s Mill Photography—capturing your unique and magical moments with a touch of enchantment.
